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I Tried 20+ Dating Apps For People Over 40 — Here Are The Best

Jennifer Stavros
Author:
September 16, 2024
Jennifer Stavros
By Jennifer Stavros
mbg Contributor
Jennifer Stavros is a freelance culture writer whose work has been featured in Playboy, Business Insider, Cosmopolitan, BBC Travel, and elsewhere.
September 16, 2024
We carefully vet all products and services featured on mindbodygreen using our commerce guidelines. Our selections are never influenced by the commissions earned from our links.

I'm in my 40s and I’ve learned how to be comfortable and confident in who I am. I’m not fumbling around in the dark trying to figure myself out while also attempting to find my person.

Although I’ve made some mistakes (read: some were major mistakes), I’ve gotten to know what I want and, perhaps more importantly, what I do not want in a relationship.

Not every dating app or site is going to work for people who are in this stage of life. I would know—I personally tested every major dating app and website on the market (and a few niche ones, too) to find the best dating sites and apps for those of us who are over 40.

For anyone else who's here with me in this life stage, ahead is a detailed guide breaking down my experience using dating apps as a single woman in her 40s and my top picks.

My top picks for the best dating apps for people over 40

Meet the tester

Jennifer Stavros is a 40-something year old writer living in Los Angeles, California. She's used nearly every major dating app (Tinder, Hinge, and Match to name a few) and is pretty familiar with the general archetypes and structure that several of them seem to exemplify.

Testing the best dating apps for over 40

For testing these dating apps, I looked for a few things:

  • Feedback from others who are in their 40s
  • Direct experience with seriousness or wasted time with matches
  • How the user experience was
  • Expert advice

I’ve used dating apps for a long time, so I’m pretty familiar with the general archetypes and structure that several of them seem to exemplify.

I wanted to pair my observations from the past and present, along with those from others, to see how they lined up.

For some, I found some parallel, but for others, I clearly had a different experience than some of my peers—which was quite alright, as your mileage may absolutely vary while using these apps.

I also tested apps that were new to me or even outside of my general area of interest with an honest eye of why someone may or may not enjoy them.

How we picked
  • Tested by people over 40: Our tester spent significant time on each of the biggest dating apps on the market today, as well as some niche ones, and also asked around for fellow 40-somethings' thoughts. These selections reflect real user feedback on the best dating apps for the over-40 crowd.
  • Real connections that go somewhere: These dating apps were all selected with mature daters' needs in mind: less time-wasting, more serious suitors, and helpful filtering systems that allow you to find strong potential matches suited to your particular preferences.
  • Expert-approved: We asked relationship experts—think marriage therapists, dating coaches, and psychologists—for their thoughts on the best dating apps for people over 40. You'll see their recommendations throughout this guide.
  • Ease of use: If downloading yet another app is keeping you from signing up for a dating site, you'll be pleased to know these options are all very easy and straightforward to use, with simple interfaces and streamlined processes.

eHarmony

Ready to meet your match? eHarmony is responsible for more marriages than any other online dating site. Its thoughtful algorithm delivers curated matches that actually make sense for your dating goals.

Match

Best paid option
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
50+
Known for
Serious relationships
App rating
3.8/5.0
See all specs

"If you're looking for a partner who is sure they want to be in a long-term relationship, Match.com is an opportunity for them to put their money where their mouth is,” licensed counselor Rebecca Hartman, LMHC, previously told mbg. 

Match is a popular dating site known for its emphasis on serious relationships. The app has been in the game for nearly 30 years and boasts 39 million users, and its unique algorithm helps you find matches based on the kind of people you swipe yes or no on. (mbg has a full Match review with more details on all the features.) 

What our tester says

This is an app for serious daters that is potentially worth it, if you want to use premium features and go to in-person events. The events part was a major plus–they’re pretty frequent and offer a different way of meeting and interacting with people other than the usual swipe and chat. 

Events I saw included speed dating, food tasting, happy hour, and even a surfing event (for a reduced cost for subscribers) that are local to the area. While I didn’t personally attend these events, I do think that they absolutely would enhance the capacity to meet and see if there is chemistry in person with fun shared activities.

All that said, it takes a long time to set up your profile, so I was hoping for better matches on it than what I personally found. Notably, the users are generally older and more conservative. This one wasn’t personally a great fit for me, and I would not have paid for it, as opposed to potentially upgrading with other apps (once LaVette goes premium, I would probably give that one the title of the best paid option).

In general, though, Match is not for people wanting hookups or to waste time. This is for folks who want to invest time and money into finding a dedicated and specific relationship. 

Unique features

  • Advanced matching algorithm: Works to find the best possible matches out there.
  • Match [IRL] events: Low-pressure way to meet folks in person
  • Reverse matches: Match with people are looking for someone just like you
  • Wink feature: Send "winks" to express interest in someone without sending a direct message

Price

Start with a weeklong free trial with limited features, then subscribe if you wish with subscriptions ranging from about $16/month to $27/month.

OkCupid

Best free option
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
30 to 49 years old
Known for
Serious relationships & hookups
App rating
4.3/5.0
See all specs

OkCupid is a dating app seeking to connect folks through quizzes, curated matches, super likes, and personalized decisions. If you're looking for the specificity of Match at a fraction of the cost, you may want to consider OkCupid.

Not only are there literally hundreds of questions to answer on everything from what kinds of relationships you're looking for to lifestyle preferences to politics and beliefs, but the free version still gives you a lot of capabilities within the app.

Plus, all your questions help the app make compatibility scores with other users, so you can message people you'll already have things in common with.

As sex therapist Aliyah Moore, Ph.D., previously told mbg, "OkCupid's full, detailed profiles let you show who you are and what matters to you. Its compatibility ratings are really helpful in helping to understand a potential date before you even meet them.

Like almost every other app on this list, they are a swipe-based dating app which operates on folks swiping through profiles and pictures for potential connections. Users can skip ahead to try to get noticed by matches by writing an intro to potential interests.

This will put those matches in a separate but freely accessible spot where folks can get notified of those matches without organically finding them by simply swiping them.

What our tester says

My OkCupid experience is twofold. I used OkCupid in its previous iteration before it turned into the swipe-based app that it is now. I really enjoyed the longer profiles and responses I got when I previously used the app, but my account was deleted due to inactivity.

Jumping back onto the app now in its current stage was interesting; it still had some of the elements I really enjoyed with the previous iteration. Quizzes still dominate the experience, which serves as a fun way to get the whole thing going again.

I remembered answering hundreds of questions before and am currently only at about 30 or so. 

One pet peeve: You are automatically shared in other Match groups that you may not be interested in. This is found in the settings, and there doesn’t appear to be an option to turn it off.

Unique features

  • Profile prompts: OkCupid prompts users to fill out specific questions rather than a traditional written profile
  • Compatibility percentage: A percentage with mutual matches
  • Open conversation: Send messages to anyone, regardless if they are a mutual match
  • DoubleTake: This feature offers a deeper look at a member’s personality and profile right from the start.

Price

OkCupid is free to use, though there are upgrades that can be purchased for even more features and filters. Subscriptions cost $35 on a month-to-month basis or $17/month if you sign up for six months.

Hinge

Best for serious relationships
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old
Known for
Serious relationships
App rating
4.5/5.0
See all specs

According to licensed counselor Jack Worthy, LMHCHinge is the app that comes up whenever folks are talking about relationships: “Tinder is for hookups. Hinge is for relationships.”

The swipe-based app has question prompts that folks can fill in answers with text or audio to complete. Folks can also interact with video prompts on their profiles as well as after matching.

You can get really specific with what you are seeking by paying extra for the premium service, but a free account will allow you to put the basics such as your sexuality, gender, job, education, religious beliefs, hometown, dating intentions, and political leaning for free.

As a note, per the pros and cons, there are limited options with political beliefs, and you may not find yours on there if you are outside of main party affiliations. 

What our tester says

I’ve used Hinge for almost three years now, and my experience has been fairly mixed. I’ve met some people that I thought were good connections for possible relationships who later just ghosted out of nowhere or who realized they weren’t actually ready for a relationship (one tried to come back late last year, but I was long past that). I also matched with several people who, despite hoping for a better connection, just didn’t line up in person or in texts. I actually am friends with one of them despite things not working out as they were really mature. 

On the other end, last year I met a scammer on this site who ruined my experience with Hinge completely. The person lied on the app about where they were from, and oh so much more. It was a really terrible experience that made me pause dating for about half a year. I know that that is not the totality of the experience for others, but that was mine.

As a more positive reference, a friend of mine in her 30s had a completely opposite experience and ended up marrying someone within a year of meeting someone on Hinge. Experiences vary, and perhaps I just ran into a really, really bad one. I didn’t meet anyone new this round that ended in a date, but I also didn’t meet any scammers—so I consider that a huge personal win.

Unique features

  • Preferences: Filter potential matches based on specific criteria
  • Likes You feature: Premium feature that allows you to see who has liked your profile before deciding to match
  • We Met feature: provide feedback on your Hinge dates so you can get out on better dates, faster.

Price

Hinge has a solid free version that works well. There are also two premium options: Hinge+ is $15/month and includes unlimited likes, seeing who likes you, fine-tuning preferences, and having more ways to discover matches. HingeX is $25/month and gives you the opportunity to get recommended to users sooner, to get more personalized matches, and to get prioritized when you like someone.

Tinder

Best for casual dating
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old
Known for
Hookups
App rating
3.8/5.0
See all specs

OK, we had to include this one in here—because who are we to assume that just because you're 40 means you want a serious relationship?

If going out on casual dates or finding hookups is more of what you're looking for right now, you may just want to try Tinder. (And FWIW, it's not impossible to find love or even marriage on this app.)

Some patience may be required with so many users to swipe (which can be a good and bad thing), but as online dating coach Perri Schneider tells mbg, "I find with my clients that it's still widely used, which can be helpful if you're not in a city and live in a more remote area," she says.

That definitely dovetails into how I use the app; see below. 

What our tester says

Tinder gets a lot of grief for being strictly a hookup app, but I have to say, it’s my personal favorite for meeting folks casually. Granted, I have met some folks who just straight up lied to get a hookup or attempted to get a few hookups when I was traveling, but that could be on any dating app really.

People on Tinder are pretty “what you see is what you get” in a lot of ways. I feel like they are more upfront generally (obviously with some exceptions as I’ve personally experienced) with what they want, in good or even potentially horrifying ways. I feel like this is a bit like the Los Angeles or New York of dating apps, so to speak. 

That said, if you do date in one area for a long time, it’s going to get a little more difficult. You may end up seeing people you’ve swiped left on multiple times coming back into your matches because you’ve swiped on so many over time on the app. I personally find better matches on Tinder in other cities and locations (there are people who use it worldwide, so there’s easy adaptability) than in my home city.

While I know that there are folks that have found long-term relationships, Tinder is good for casual dating and getting yourself back out there after a bit of time. While it can absolutely lead to serious connections, it’s really about empowering yourself and enjoying the dating experience as a whole for the totality of everything.

Unique features

  • Read Receipts: Know who's read or not yet read your message
  • Tinder U: In-app feature that allows you to connect with nearby college students
  • Super Like: Send a Super Like to someone you're particularly interested in, notifying the other user of your heightened interest.

Price

Tinder's free version has everything you need to swipe, match, and chat. Upgrades cost between $10 and $40 a month, or less if you lock yourself into a longer contract.

Dating Application by Bumble

Best for women who want to take the lead
Available
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
18 to 30 years old
Known for
Serious relationships & hookups
App rating
4.3/5.0
See all specs

Bumble puts the control in the hands of the woman user, who gets to pick who she wants to talk to. When she matches with someone, she will have a limited amount of time to message the person.

The other person will then be able to respond in 24 hours before the match is closed. (You can also pay a premium to keep the match open if you’d like.) 

"I find that Bumble has the most active users on its platform—which is great to increase the chances of matching with someone you really like," Schneider says, adding, "The women must initiate the conversation [when matching with men], but with same-sex matches, either can begin the chat."

Of course, depending on your preferences, you may view that as a pro or a con, but if men making the first move for the past 40 years hasn't been working, it might be time to try a new approach.

What our tester says

Excluding one encounter with a person who turned rude and hostile after I canceled a date, I had some pleasant conversations with a few people on Bumble, including someone with different politics than me who was actually quite friendly and nice.

That said, I didn’t find luck on Bumble this round. To be honest, I personally prefer to be messaged first. So does Liz, 46, who tells me, “ I actually like when they message first. I actually haven't had much luck on Bumble.” 

I did end up messaging a few people on Bumble to get out of my comfort zone. I matched with a few people who didn’t respond or who just dropped the conversation entirely out of nowhere. Liz experienced similar. “I feel like on Bumble, they get lazy, and they don't continue the conversation,” she says.

That said, I know that other users have had better experiences on the app, including the boost to self-esteem regardless of the outcome of matches. One review on Bumble’s success story blog by fellow writer Stephanie Yeboah says, “I realized that I was enjoying dating for the first time ever. Even as an introvert, I was having fun putting myself in the driver’s seat and actively taking part in conversations. After a few months of this, I decided to try out my newfound confidence and ability to put myself out there in other parts of my life.” 

To that end, the app really is about empowering women to embrace their inner and outer awesome to help flip the script on the dating scene.

Unique features

  • BFF Mode: Connects you with users who just want to be friends
  • Bizz Mode: For professional connections
  • Beeline: See who's already liked your profile to avoid wasting time swiping
  • Backtrack: See your most recent left swipe

Price

Bumble is free to use, or you can purchase premium memberships for additional features, including advanced filters, travel mode, the ability to see who has liked you already, extended time with your matches, the ability to get spotlighted, and much more. Premium accounts vary from as short as a week to an entire lifetime subscription. These premium options range from $4 to $22 per week depending on the package you opt for and how long you subscribe, with longer subscriptions having a lower weekly rate. You can also buy a lifetime membership for $250.

Stir

Best for single parents
Age demographic
18+
Compatibility
IOS, Android
Known for
Single people
App rating
4.2/5.0

Dating as a single parent comes with its own set of challenges, and you may want to connect with other singles who can relate—or at least won't be put off by the fact that you have children.

Enter Stir, a dating app designed specifically for single parents. While users do not have to be single parents, most folks on the app are. Profiles look similar to profiles on Match (which owns Stir) and allow folks to see similarities in location, age, and other parameters.

Tori's experience

While I didn’t personally use this app, forty-year-old single mom Tori did. “Stir is like a low-grade option of Match,” she tells me. While the app can’t discriminate against folks who aren’t parents, “90% of people who use the app are parents.”

She met a partner who she dated briefly with the app. The person had messaged her and came up in her matches. For her, it was important to be matched with someone who had kids already and didn’t want anymore.

She has her own children and went on get-togethers with the person she met on Stir with their kids. They arranged hangouts that worked for their schedules and allowed their kids to hang out while they conversed. Her relationship didn’t work out, but she did find the experience to be positive.

Unique features

  • Rewind: Revisit profiles you've previously passed on

Price

Stir premium accounts vary from as short as a week to a six-month subscription. One week will cost $20, while monthly plans range from $12 to $30 per month depending on length. Premium features include knowing who likes you, the ability to message before you match, the ability to control who can see your profile, free Superlikes weekly, knowing when your messages are read, and the ability to "boost" your profile to potentially expand your chances to meet people.

Dating App by Christian Mingle

Best for Christians
Compatibility
IOS, Android
Main age demographic
30 to 49 years old
Known for
Serious relationships
App rating
3.6/5.0

Christian Mingle is a dating site aimed at people of various denominations of Christian faiths, and it boasts over 15 million users. According to reviews, it’s easily the most popular site for Christian singles and known for producing successful relationships.

Folks can discuss how often they go to church, their religious preferences, and what they are seeking. It also gauges factors like education and interests so you can find a well-rounded match.

If you're devoted to your faith, it may be important for you to find a partner who is too.

Colier highly encourages taking advantage of dating sites that make finding what you're looking for easy, and if it's finding a Christian partner, this is definitely your best bet. (There are also similar dating apps for other religions, such as JDate and Salams, depending on your faith.)

What our tester says

Since I was raised Catholic (but am not anymore), I decided to give the app a look for myself. I had gone to churches when I had been abroad traveling last year, so I do have a connection to religion, even if it is not what I currently view as something for my personal targets. I composed my profile like I would guess my conservative family would enjoy: complete with pictures of me in churches saying that I wanted a God-fearing person with similar values. 

I received several heartfelt messages from folks who wanted to connect. Even without me having a personal connection to religion in the same way, I can absolutely see why folks would see value in this particular app. Matches talked to me about their values in vulnerable and personal ways, tying them back to their commitment to their faith.

I don’t have to be religious to respect and understand how folks would want to have those types of discussions with their potential partners, especially for long-term partnerships. These are folks looking for long-term commitments (not hookups) who are being served in this app. It’s absolutely an app that folks who are dedicated to their faith should consider.

Unique features

  • Denomination filters: Specify Christian denomination to narrow down potential matches based on religious preferences.
  • Prayer wall: Share prayer requests or pray for others

Price

Subscription is required for messaging on Christian Mingle, with prices ranging from around $42/month down to $20/month when you commit to half a year.

La Vette

Most innovative
Available
iOS, Android
Known for
Interactive live events that spark real connections
Compatibility
iOS, Android

La Vette is a different kind of dating app. It’s specifically not about swipe culture or photoshopped pictures. In fact, it is the only app on this list that is not a swipe-based dating system.

Instead, it’s a video-based dating app with interactive activities and videos that force the user to look beyond superficial-based swiping to get to know someone.

More on LaVette

You can meet someone by looking at their profile (or “Vibe”) to learn about three things that the user describes themselves as. From there, if you’re interested, you can look at a few details about them such as their lifestyle, career, family, and love and relationships.

If you want to connect with them after seeing a second video, you’re able to message them and schedule a digital video date.

You can also meet singles through their message boards or fun, interactive events, which give you access to folks you might not have naturally connected to. It has a community feel to it that is interactive in ways that other apps simply don’t have at the forefront.

What our tester says

The onboarding experience had a little bit of a learning curve because the app is so different. It is best viewed on a desktop or laptop computer. The community is also very small currently, with only about 500 users as of this writing.

I was able to attend a community event that was about an hour long, but currently there aren’t a ton of these events on their schedule yet.

The event I attended was really fun though: It began as a chat and then changed to breakout rooms, where I was paired with random folks to discuss items in the main discussion for a couple of minutes.

I had a couple of fun and delightful one on one chats as well as a small group chat with folks attending to discuss various dating things. It was a bit like a virtual speed dating session without having to leave my house, which I really enjoyed on multiple levels. 

I can see promise in using this app for an extended period of time even outside of dating purposes. The crowd was a bit older with several people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.

These are serious daters who are committed to their dating journey. I also found that there were a lot of folks committed to their mental wellness who were seeking mature connections with foundations in growth.

Out of all of the dating apps I tried, this one was the most exciting to me personally. I’m really looking forward to seeing how this develops.

Price

La Vette is currently completely free to use, though they plan to go premium in the future. You can currently access all of the features on this app without a cost, though you do have to apply and get approved to access the app. All users are vetted and background-checked before gaining entry.

Comparing the best dating apps for people over 40

AppPrimary age demographicKnown forPremium membership costApp Store ratingUnique features
La Vette30+Serious relationshipFrom $60/month4Compatibility scores
Match.com30-49Serious relationshipFrom $46/month3.8Mutual & reverse matching
OkCupid30-49Serious relationships & hookupsFrom $45/month4.3Compatibility scores
Christian Mingle25-54Serious relationshipFrom $42/month3.6Designed for Christian daters
Hinge18-49Serious relationships & hookupsFrom $30/month4.5Limited likes per day; voice prompts
Tinder18-49Serious relationships & hookupsFrom $20/month3.8Superswipe
Bumble18-49Serious relationships & hookupsFrom $20/week4.3Women send first message
Stir30-49Serious relationshipFrom $20/week4.2Designed for single parents

Other dating apps we tried

Despite some fun on several other apps, I also tested a few additional options that did not make it into my final selects.

  • eharmony: An app for serious daters that are willing to pay for matches. In my experience, it was not worth the coast. I spent so much time setting this up and I didn't discover the matches that I was hoping for. (Though for what it’s worth, mbg does have a full eharmony review from someone with a slightly different take than me.) 
  • Plenty of Fish: You get a picture with a small description to swipe on. Matches will send you messages when they like you ,which are generally just one sentence long. If you put notifications on, expect to hear it constantly going off. It’s excessive. I received only one good match on it, even after putting a restriction on my setting to only receive messages that hit a higher character limit. The character limit didn’t help; I received a message with the same sentence repeated multiple times to meet the limit.
  • Coffee Meets Bagel: You get matches sent to you every afternoon that you can choose to either connect with or skip. Once connected, you get a short period of time to chat. I know of a friend of a friend who is marrying someone they met off this app, but I never found any matches that I was really excited about.

How to successfully navigate dating apps in your 40s

1.

Go on as many first dates as possible.

“Are you looking for a relationship?” Worthy asks. “If the answer to that question is yes, you need to maximize first dates. Go on as many first dates as you possibly need to expose your nervous system to people who need to get a felt visceral response to what it's like to spend time with someone.”

This includes going out with someone that you might be lukewarm about (such as my experience with the Bumble person I was attempting to give a chance before they got aggressive), as it’s about giving “your nervous system time to learn and respond to the person," per Worthy.

2.

Be relatively open-minded about second dates. 

“Be relatively open-minded about second dates,” Worthy says. This second date is really the make-or-break date. How does your chemistry mix? Did the person turn out to be better than you originally thought, or did they show characteristics that you didn’t find attractive on the second date? Second dates are the opportunity to dive deeper to get a better idea of those bigger ticket issues to get down to business.

3.

Be absolutely merciless about third dates.

Those are Worthy’s words, not mine: “Be absolutely merciless about third dates.” 

At this point, if you are genuinely not interested in continuing, you should tell them. “If you're saying no to a third date, or if you're not going to ask the person on the third date, what I advise people to say is ‘I've really enjoyed getting to know you. To be honest, I'm not feeling the way I would want to feel to take this further. I'm going to say goodbye here. I wish you the best of luck.’”

If you are interested in remaining connected for the purpose of maintaining a friendship, Worthy says that you are “playing a dangerous game.” Why? “The problem is if somebody's not being honest either with you or with themselves and what they really want, then pursuing a friendship can lead to confusion and hurt.”

That said, you should aim to be very particular and honest when it comes to giving folks a third opportunity. If it’s still not there, you should cut your losses and go back to the drawing board.

Dating & longevity

Longevity is always top of mind at mindbodygreen—and dating plays a larger role in this than you might think. Studies have shown social isolation increases all-cause mortality by about 33%1, and loneliness is linked to lower health literacy and other health concerns2

In fact, one recent study from 2023 indicated a direct correlation between loneliness and cognitive decline3. When used with intention, dating apps can be a great way to bring connection into your life, thereby enhancing your well-being and improving your longevity.

What to know about using dating apps as a 40 year-old

For many people, dating in your 40s is more serious. It’s not wasting time with maybes or people who just don’t spark. It’s adventurous but also down to business. For me, that means that if someone doesn’t have an idea of what they want in their life, a steady and consistent career, or some level of individual independence, I don’t have time for them anymore.

I also am walking outside of what I might have gone for in my 20s and 30s and examining how certain types that might have sounded appealing are the exact opposite now. 

According to licensed therapist Nancy Colier, LCSW, dating in your 40s gives you the unique opportunity to swim in the dating pool as a mature adult with a strong sense of self. "If we've done some inner work, then in the 40s, we have the possibility of having a much healthier relationship. Another person brings an addition to our life if we're healthy, as opposed to, 'You fill me up,' or, 'I need you to be OK,'" she tells mbg.

The truth is, finding folks that spark your interest will feel more difficult than it was in previous decades, especially if you’ve been in the same city for a long time.

I’ve lived in Los Angeles for a bit, which makes dating here a bit less exciting than when I have dated in other cities where I’ve either lived less time or am traveling in.

As shallow as it may be, aging also does things to all of us physically that can make it harder to find physically thrilling matches. If one gravitates toward very specific physical traits, you may find yourself swiping away with disappointment.

It’s important to be mindful of how aging affects all of us. Getting outside of standard types can be really exciting if you allow yourself that chance.

“Dating in the 40s is more about being intentional,” says Tori, 40, who says her choices of partners have changed as she’s gotten older. For her, as a single parent, it means making sure that someone wasn’t interested in having more kids but also respects how she has kids. For others, like 46-year-old Liz who found her way onto online dating during the pandemic, it’s about seeking someone that’s interested in her as a person–including an understanding that she has degrees and political values that matter to her.

In that sense, dating in your 40s focuses more on the core qualities of what someone wants in a partner vs. strictly the superficial. This type of dating is intentional and carefully curated. It’s about trying new pathways and foregoing the foolish completely carefree abandon one might have had in previous decades.

To that end, dating apps can actually be particularly beneficial for people over 40 because they can support and (in some cases) dramatically simplify some of that curation process. 

FAQ:

Is 40 too old for Tinder or Hinge?

If you’re wondering if the 40s are too old for Tinder or Hinge, you’re wrong. There are lots of folks in their mid to late thirties and forties on both of these apps. Not all of them are jerks or people exclusively looking for hookups. You’ll find lots of options that are actually looking for serious relationships with the right people.

Is Tinder worth it if you're over 40?

Tinder can absolutely be worth it for someone in their 40s. We all have our different dating styles, and while there are certainly a lot of people only there for hookups, there are absolutely folks seeking long-term or committed relationships. You are absolutely not too old here. This is actually my favorite app to use while traveling because you can meet folks easily without having to pay an additional premium.

What dating site has the highest success rate?

Believe it or not, I personally had the best success rate with overall matches on Tinder and OkCupid rather than Hinge. I know multiple people who have met their partners on apps like OkCupid and Hinge, but I really enjoyed my time best on Tinder. However, the expert I spoke to was suggested Hinge for a relationship—and they've helped far more people connected with partners.

And despite my personal beef with it, eharmony is often talked about as a dating site with one of the highest success rates; the site claims to be responsible for 4% of marriages in the United States.

All to say, it really depends on your desired connections and dating styles

The takeaway

Dating in your 40s can feel intimidating, but it absolutely does not have to be! Invest your time in the places and connections that you feel connect with your higher values and intentions.

Go on lots of first dates, but be particular about who you go on third dates with. Try different experiences with dating apps from swiping to video dating—and don't underestimate the new dating apps on the market, like LaVette.

Additional writing and reporting by Sarah Regan.

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